Homecoming Rhapsody
by Lupa Raintree
Summary: My adaptation of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody song to fit the happenings of Lost's 15th episode Homecoming. Featuring the castaways, Ethan, who knows who else more as it develops.


Homecoming Rhapsody 

It's just a little piece I wrote in the night before my 16th birthday, inspired by something I read many years ago on a HP site: it was Queen's song "Bohemian Rhapsody" lyrics rewritten under the name of "Chamber Of Secrets Rhapsody". That song became my personal anthem for a long time (currently it's "The Llama Song").Well, basically, this is Queen's song "Bohemian Rhapsody" rewritten to fit the happenings of Lost's 15th episode, Homecoming, which must be the episode I've watched more often, as I've got it recorded.

Be warned: this is a very serious attempt of mine to be funny and an outstanding failure of mine on that purpose. Plus, it sucks hardly.

Disclaimer: none of these contents belong to me. The characters and plots are all J.J. Abraham's and company, the song is Queen's. Only the lyrics are an adaptation made by me. Enjoy... or not.

Featuring:- Charlie and Claire on the leading roles - Jack, Kate, Sayid, Locke and Sawyer on recurring guest roles - Michael and Boone on supporting guest roles - Shannon and Sun gueststarring - Starring Vincent on a special collaboration - Hurley&The Red Shirts with their choir - Ethan as the Bad Guy - Jin being knocked out - Scott as the Dead Body - Lucy, Tommy and Frank brought to you by The Ultimate Lost Feedback System(R).- Walt doing absolutely nothing (hehe)

Lupa

---  
LOCKE: Is it the real Claire?

BOONE: Is it just fantasy?

SAYID: Caught in the jungle,  
Had escaped from Ethanie...

KATE: Open her eyes,  
Look up to Jack and scream...

CLAIRE: I don't remember,  
Please go away from me!

LOCKE: And memories easy come, easy go...

MICHAEL: Claire's tall...

SHANNON: Charlie's short.

CHARLIE: Anywhere he is, now, I will kill him last, I will!  
You'll see.

SAWYER: Charlie just killed a man,  
Put a gun against his chest

Pulled the trigger, now he's dead.

KATE: Lucy said he can't commit,  
But now he's gonna show her other way.

JACK: Sawyer, uh-uh-uh, held the Marshall's gun...

BOONE: So Kate can come along now and have some fun...

JACK: That's alright, that's alright!

LOCKE: Jack has lost this battle...

MICHAEL: Sayid can't believe Claire  
Charlie got mad at him

SUN: On his way back he found Jin.

SAWYER: Goodbye, everybody, Jin was knocked out...

CLAIRE: And Charlie is facing Tom Cruise's cousin!

ETHAN: Charlie, uh-uh-uh,  
Bring the bitch back to me!  
I'll make you wish you'd never been born at all!

SAWYER: I see a little hobbit snorting in the dark.

TOMMY: How you feel? How you feel?

CHARLIE: I feel sodding fan-tas-tic!

TOMMY: Steal something from Lucy  
Then bring it back here to ME!

CHARLIE: I don't want to- I don't want to- I don't want to, I like her!

TOMMY: There's no more drugs!

CHARLIE: Oh no-oh-oh!

CLAIRE: I'm very pregnant  
Everyone's avoiding me.

THE RED SHIRTS: She is the culprit, let's stare at her, shall we?

VINCENT: Waste no more time and forget the alarm!

JACK: Here we go, here we go, Claire will come along.

CHARLIE: Bismillah! No, I will not let her go!

CLAIRE: Let me go!

CHARLIE: Bismillah! No, I will not you her go!

CLAIRE: Let me go!

CHARLIE: Bismillah! No, I will not you her go!

JACK,LOCKE&SAYID: Let her go!

CHARLIE: Bismillah! No, I will not let her go!

KATE: I want to go!

JACK: I will not let YOU go!

KATE: Let me go!

JACK: I will not let YOU go!

SAWYER: Let her go!

JACK: Never, never, never...

KATE+CLAIRE: Let me gooooo!...

JACK+CHARLIE: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

FRANK: Oh sell the copiers, sell the copiers...

CHARLIE: Excuse me, please, I gotta spew.

LUCY: Belzebu! Charlie stole the cigarrete case...

CHARLIE: Oh no!

EVERYONE: Oh noooooooooooooo!

(guitar instrumental)

CHARLIE: So you think you can take her and spit in my eye?  
So you think you can hang me and leave me to die!

Oooooh, Ethan,  
Can't do this to me, Ethan,  
Gotta get Claire out  
Gotta get Claire right outta here!

(guitar and piano instrumental)

HURLEY: Duuuuuuuuude...

THE RED SHIRTS: This sucks, this sucks, this sucks, thiiiiiiis suuuucks...!

HURLEY: It doesn't really matter  
If it was Scott or Steve

SAWYER: Or does it really matter?

SAYID: Maybe if Boone hadn't fallen asleep...

CLAIRE: I remember peanut butter...

---

Yeah, I know this sucks. BTW, as I'm not a native english speaker and I'm just 16, I may have made some mistakes on my english, so if you see any, please feel free to report it.

I can't express my love for you enough for having read this thing till this line, so now REVIEW! Thank you so much!


End file.
